So, sadly, I have taken the time to rank the best french fries available to me in the Denver area from fast food joints. I'v done so for many many years. (People over 40 are probably laughing right now at that last comment seeing as I'm only 26 and saying things like "many many years.") I thought it time to share my rankings with the world, and maybe, just maybe, KFC and Good Times will hear my cry as well...
Many many years ago (like 10+ *more laughter from the over 40 crowd*), the best french fries of all ranked as follows:
1. KFC's batter-dipped french fries (I'd buy them by the family size pack; they were THAT good)
2. Good Times wild fries
3. Burger King's fries (until that brief period where they changed their fries to be flimsier and more potato-y like McDonald's during the Great French Fry Commercial Wars--one starring Mr. Potato Head himself)
4. Arby's curly fries
5. Wendy's fries
Then KFC got rid of their batter-dipped french fries and replaced them with nasty, disgusting POTATO WEDGES!!!! WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING!!!!??????!!!!!! My G-d they were grotesque (and probably still are). >:P The potato to batter ratio was WAY off with the potato wedges compared to the french fries.
{{Throwing in a side note here, an extra nugget if you will, in case KFC actually catches wind of this... About the same time-possibly the exact same time-KFC also got rid of the #1 best chicken nuggets in all of Colorado-possibly the world-and replaced them with nasty, disgusting CHIKEN FINGERS!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING???????!!!!!!!!! My G-d, they were also grotesque. >:P Why did they have to go and get rid of the most delicious tasting chicken nuggets with a delicious blend of 11 herbs and spices (perfection! i didn't even use sauce--too tasty to ruin it like that) and replace them with long, thick chicken tenders that always without fail have nasty, sticky tendons or something like tendons running up and down the length of them. Similarly to the potato wedges, the chicken to batter ratio was WAY off with these chicken fingers compared to the chicken nuggets. After this there was no reason to go to KFC again until popcorn chicken came around.}}
So, after that and up until a couple months or so ago (I loose track of time more easily these days), the best french fries of all ranked as follows:
1. Good Times wild fries
2. Burger King's fries (original recipe)
3. Arby's curly fries
4. Wendy's fries (especially when hot, fresh, and dipped in a chocolate frosty)
That's right, there is no 5 now.
Then, a couple of months ago some GENIUS jerk face at Good Times decides to run some kind of BRILLIANT marketing campaign where they FORCE customers to try their new fresh cut fries (absolutely disgusting; pretty much inedible; we ate a few for the salt and then couldn't take it any more and through them out) for who knows how long by GETTING RID OF their wonderfully delicious signature wild fries!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so friggin' pissed off right now you have no idea.... First KFC goes and gets rid of the #1 best fry in the Denver-metro area at a fast food joint and now Good Times has to go and get rid of the #2 fry that had taken the #1 spot. Their ads make it seem like they will come back with the wild fries at some point but WHEN?! And why do we have to suffer this wait anyways?! GUESS WHAT GOOD TIMES; I HATE YOUR NEW FRIES AND I HOPE YOUR MARKETING GENIUS DROWNS IN A GIGANTIC PILE OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is the absolute worst marketing scheme I have ever heard of; "Take the customer's choice away so that they're FORCED to try our new fries. I promise you, they'll LOVE them!" AGGHHHH!!!!! WRONG!
{{By the way, throwing in another side note just in case Good Times happens to catch wind of this... At the exact same time I went to Good Times and discovered that my favorite wild fries were not an option I also found out that the only burger I liked to order from the menu because I have a low appetite and hate the veggies--the old-fashioned cheeseburger--was also no longer available. What. the. hell. Is Good Times purposefully trying to be just as stupid as KFC? I. am so. pissed off.}}
So, presently the best french fries of all rank as follows:
1. Burger King's fries (What is a world in which the #1 fry isn't even batter-dipped?)
2. Arby's curly fries
3. Wendy's fries
That's right, now there's no longer a 4 or 5.
What the hell is going on here? Now the list of best fry options is down to THREE?!?! Are you kidding me?!?!?! Do you see the reason for my anger and frustration? I don't care how many more delicious, wonderful, tasty fries go down the tubes, McDonald's fries will never make this list. Chick-Fil-A's waffle fries wouldn't even be worth mentioning except that they're so bad I feel the need to warn others. This is a pathetic world we now live in, in terms of fast food french fry deliciousness; we don't have any batter-dipped terrific options any more.
My only hope is that one day one or both of them (KFC & Good Times), changes their minds, and brings back the fries I miss so dearly. I estimate I've got at least 60 years to wait and see before I die and all hope is lost.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Top French Fries in Colorado - KFC & Good Times Loose Big Time!
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