I Survived!... almost...

So I was a little worried by the fact that I forgot to bring my pills to school Friday, which means I went the last three days without medication (aka anti-crazy pills). I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to help but crack up before the end of the weekend. Do something really stupid. Say something really stupid. Get unnecessarily mean, or unnecessarily irrational. Start flipping out and freaking out, taking it out on someone or just myself. I was pretty sure I'd revert back to crazy. But I didn't. I survived. And I stayed normal all weekend (well, normal for me at least, but that might be kind of crazy for others).

Basically, I was able to not loose sight of me. The depression didn't win this weekend. The depression didn't make me think, and feel, and say things that I didn't want to. I didn't yell and/or scream or flip out on anyone. I managed not to sit and fret about anything beyond the usual fret and worry. No wallowing in misery. I didn't have a heart attack over walking from the car to door. That's a plus. Not fearing supernatural beings stalking me and mass murderers killing my family is a step in the right direction I'd say.

Okay, so maybe not being on pills all weekend has made me a little melodramatic. That happens. But I'll take a little melodramaticness and crying WAY too much watching the end of "The Invisible" as a sign that the drugs are working, and my brain is healing. I bet you I get cured to remission one of these days and I can go independent of the drugs again. I bet you with a little hard work and help from my drugs that I can even get over the melodrama and the crying! I can be like a semblance of normal! I mean, I no longer have the strong superstition and crazy belief that 11:11 is the devil's call number and an incredibly unlucky omen. I see that it's 11:11 and I'm like "ooooooh, scary. whatever." This is HUGE!

One day I won't be crazy any more (in the bad way, still in the good way tho) and the world won't have to suffer any more of these annoying philosophical-type, melodramatic, way-too-wordy blogs of mine!

At least that's the hope.... We'll see!